“Tim and Tim Again”

My contribution to the October 2014 Live Arts Late Night cabaret.

With T.J. Ferguson, Kip McCharen, Eric Bryant, Chris Beale, and Christina Ball.

Written and Directed by Sean Michael McCord. Performed Oct. 4, 2014.

Full text below.

TIM AND TIM AGAIN

(TIMMY, a young man of about 20, is pacing back
and forth, nervous and keyed up, talking directly
to an open laptop which is recording a video. Next
to the laptop, but as yet unseen to the audience,
is a gun.)

TIMMY:
You drove me to this, Belinda! You said we would always
be together. Then I find out from my friends that
you're seeing some other guy! Well I loved you first.
It was Timmy and Belinda forever. You ended us, and now
I'm going to end everything!

(Timmy picks up the gun and holds it up to his
temple. Suddenly, TIMOTHY, Timmy from ten years in
the future, appears)

TIMOTHY:
Timmy, don't do it! Don't pull the trigger!

TIMMY:
Gaauurgh! Who are you?

TIMOTHY:
I'm Timothy. I'm you from ten years in the future, and
I'm here to tell you, don't pull that trigger. You have
so much to live for.

TIMMY:
You're me from ten years in the future?

TIMOTHY:
Yes.

TIMMY:
God, I look terrible. I'm ending it right now.

(Timmy puts the gun back to his head and pulls the
trigger. It clicks once but nothing happens. Timmy
pulls the gun from his head and looks at it
quizzically)

TIMOTHY:
No, wait! Hear me out first.

TIMMY:
Hold on, how can you be me from the future? If I kill
myself, then I have no future.

TIMOTHY:
That's because you don't actually kill yourself
tonight. The gun misfires the first two times. You
can't go through with it. You put the gun away and
never tell anyone. But this begins a long, dark,
painful period in your life. I'm here to tell you that
it gets better.

TIMMY:
What about Belinda?

TIMOTHY:
You both move on. Honestly, I haven't thought about her
in years. Not since I met Annabelle.

TIMMY:
Who?

TIMOTHY:
My wife. Your wife, in the future. She's lovely.

TIMMY:
We both just move on?

TIMOTHY:
It's for the best. Truly. Send Belinda one last message
on your computer. Tell her ... "thank you, and
goodbye".

(Timothy is very reassuring. It takes a moment,
but Timmy puts the gun down, swallows hard, and
begins to type on the computer.)

TIMMY:
"Dear Belinda ... I wish you all the best ... It's time
for us both to move on. Thank you, and good..."

(Suddenly TIM, Timmy from twenty years in the
future, appears)

TIM:
Timmy, don't do it! Don't send that message.

(This time, both Timmy and Timothy scream)

TIMMY & TIMOTHY:
Gaauurgh! Who are you?

TIM:
My name is Tim. I'm you from twenty years in the
future, and I'm telling you not to send that message.
Belinda is the only woman that you ever truly loved,
and if you send that message, you'll never hear from
her again.

TIMOTHY:
What about Annabelle?

TIM:
That bitch left and took me for everything I have.

TIMOTHY:
Now wait a minute, you can't talk about her that way!

TIM:
She's a bitch and you're an idiot!

(Tim and Timothy begin arguing uncontrollably:
"bitch", "how dare you!", "idiot!", "you're just a
bitter old man". This goes on for several
seconds.)

TIMMY:
Hey! Hey!

(Timmy can't get their attention. He picks up the
gun, holds it up into the air and pulls the
trigger, but nothing happens. He looks at it in
disgust, then counts to two and realizes those
were the two misfires. He screams at Timothy and
Tim.)

TIMMY:
HEY! I've got a gun here!

(Timothy and Tim stop their arguing, turn, and
look at Timmy. He holds the gun back up to his
head and gives them a sarcastic "Hello!" look)

TIMMY:
Why shouldn't I pull the trigger right now and get this
over with?

TIMOTHY:
Because in a few years from now, at your darkest hour,
you will meet a beautiful woman named Annabelle and
she'll change your life.

TIM:
(indicating Timothy)
He's an idiot. Shoot him.

TIMOTHY:
(to Tim)
If he shoots me, then you'll die too...!

TIM:
Meh.

TIMOTHY:
What the hell happened to you?

TIM:
I never should have let Belinda go.

TIMOTHY:
No wonder Annabelle left you. You're just a sad old
man.

TIM:
You know what they say, "third Tim's the charm!"
(to Timmy)
He's right, kid. I'm just a sad old man. "Timothy" here
is just fooling himself. We were never truly happy.

("TABATHA", Timmy in 30 or 40 years and wearing a
dress, suddenly appears)

TABATHA:
That's because you didn't know your true self.

TIMMY & TIMOTHY & TIM:
Gaauurgh! Who are you?

TABATHA:
I'm Tabatha. And I was miserable for decades until I
discovered the truth: that I was a woman trapped in a
man's body!

TIM:
I take it back. (indicating "Tabatha") Shoot her!

TABATHA:
No, you don't understand. This hurt that you feel
inside, it's all because you're repressed. You won't be
fulfilled in anything until you learn to love your true
self.

TIMOTHY:
Timmy, you're at a crossroads. That's why we came back.
All of the pain in your life starts right here, in this
moment. I know it looks overwhelming right now, but you
are going to have great passion in your life.

(Timmy looks long and hard at Timothy, then Tim,
then Tabatha, then back at the gun. He is
thinking.)

TIMOTHY:
For Anabelle.

TIM:
Belinda.

TABATHA:
"Tabatha"

(AN OLD WOMAN suddenly appears. She is dressed
similarly, but not identically, to Tabatha)

OLD WOMAN:
Timmy, is that you?

TIMMY:
Oh, hell no! All y'all are going down!

(Timmy raises the gun back to his head. Timothy
screams "NO!" and lunges for it, trying to wrest
the gun from Timmy's hand. The gun fires. Timothy
staggers back, clutching his chest. He stares at
Timmy for a moment, then Timothy, Tim, and Tabatha
all collapse dead on the stage.)

OLD WOMAN:
Timmy, who are all these people?

TIMMY:
Well, that's me ten years in the future, that other one
is me twenty years in the future, and the ugly old
woman, I don't know, is me in some dystopian alternate
reality. And that makes you...?

OLD WOMAN:
I'm Belinda. I've come from the future to beg you to
take me back.

(Timmy stares in shock, then drops the gun and
embraces her in a passionate kiss. They pull away
from each other and say nothing for a beat. And
then...)

OLD WOMAN & TIMMY:
(simultaneously)
"Meh".

TIMMY:
I guess we really have moved on.

OLD WOMAN:
You're right. What's past is past. I never should have
come back here. I'm just going to return to my own time
and die.

(Belinda turns to leave the same way she came.
Timmy hesitates a moment, then bounds after her.)

TIMMY:
Wait, I'll come with you.

(He turns to take one last look at the mess he's
left behind)

TIMMY:
I've got no future here.

(Timmy catches up with Belinda and admires her
dress)

TIMMY:
That's a nice dress. Where'd you get that?

(They exit together)

BLACKOUT

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